so its 11:50 on a thursday night; & so many things are just running through my mind. just situations, emotions, certain people etc. i havent been like this is in a while, but its getting harder & harder for me day by day to hide what i feel inside. i was once told "never put your heart in your mind's position" ; because you will always find yourself making hasty decisions. so i must admit that ; yes that is true. i have a hard time with "letting go" & sometimes accepting the things that i "cannot change" or maybe im just a dreamer' that "hopes" a little bit too much..? i dont understand how a person like me; can never be satisfied when i dont ask for too much, quite frankly i dont think i ask for enough..many say i settle for less, yes i know i "deserve better" but how will i know what im falling for if i dont give it a chance? it seems to be that i fall for what you would call disguises. people that come off a certain way but later down the line when they get to comfortable they switch up & then its not like its easy to forget about them because you have already caught feelings for them...am i right? why do i dwell so much, why do i care so much? am i just another sucker for love? those type of people who fall for all loves traps yet still go on with the search? i think its because i have so much love to give & so much love to offer that i keep on putting myself in danger, so what do you do when you have "a heart to big" for someone else to love? a "heart to big" for someone else to complete? should i give up because love doesn't want me? i mean its obvious ; & plain to see. yes of course i am human & i have made mistakes, i am not perfect but for the love i am capable of giving i know i deserve much better then what is being given to me. am i right? or maybe its just not my time yet. so im confused; not sure where to go ; not sure what to think; not sure what to do, not sure who to trust, not sure who to believe, the list goes on & on.
who doesn't lonq for someone to hold
who knows how to love yuh without being told
somebody tell me why im on my own
so here i am aqain, going in circles that never ever end
trying to find my way to happiness but i guess for
now ill just pretend .