love, ohh! why are yu so hard? i try & try but get close..no cigar. i wish the joy you bring could be bottled up & frozen, so i can take it out & feel it when its my pillow im holding. you make the strongest weak, & the weakest strong, but i never quite know whose side your on. the practical jokes yu play are really not funny its like telling me i've won a million dollars but in my account theres no money. yu constantly put me in places where i find the one ive hoped too, & then they're not ready for me, or you, then its not like my disappointment would just fade with no pain, NO i gotta work to forget cause your type of feelings gets embedded in my frame. i dont know about others, but damn im tight, why must yu make such wrong things feel so right? why must yu uplift & make me feel so good? then take the air out of my sails & make me wish i could forget about yu & everything yu mean. NO cause im a natural addict for yu & cant help but fien, so now i try to not care but to no avail, cuz the more i try is the more i realize ive failed, now at all good situations i wince & harden cause of the PIAN that i MAY receive, & even if it never comes & im wrong, i still perceive the bad, because i no longer believe in yu now even good people that i chose to hold, i never let close, noone visits my soul, because of that void yu left, that big gaping whole in my heart, my innocent vessel that was as pure as gold, now im a mess who no longer can deal, & ive forced myself to percieve only the bad & forget to feel. ive thrown out the rules, pulled my hair & felt filfthy now NO ONE is innocent before proven guilty, & im stuck trying to be tough pondering on.....what do i do now that the love is gone? im tired of the crying & tired of my tears, & these god forsaken down days where you cause me to remember EVERY failed attempt ive had over the years so im hating on YOU yes YOU, who stole my ability to trust, in anyone, making NOONE equal to that one love, noones good enough im trying to take a stand because i refuse to let you win, i wont aid in my own tragedy by submitting to your wicked ways of fustration & manipulation
*sigh* so yes, as i lay here in the dark, with tears from you, i wish i could attain your clever ways so me to cound find just the right way to get over you........love.